AboutHalf

I went with the BluePlate Betrothed to the Victoria’s Secret to aid in the purchasing of a wedding bra.

I understand that bras are complex things to purchase, and one bra’s C-cup is another bra’s B cup and so on. I also understand that the fit, feel, heft, weight, girth, support, structure, overall liftability, and so forth are very important and variable from bra to bra.

So it takes time to try on 15 different bras to find the one that works.

I’m ok with that. I understand. I can wait. I’m very patient.

However, Victoria’s Secret retail stores, while nicely appointed with capable and friendly staff, are not very boyfriend or husband friendly.

As a standard-issue het-man, hanging out in the store while your girl is in the changing room is a little awkward.

If it’s a short trip, say, 5 minutes, no problem. But sometimes these things take time. If a dude is standing around in the Victoria’s Secret by himself for 20 minutes, people are going to start asking questions. Even if they aren’t asking questions, the guy is assuming they are…

One can’t look at merchandise really because. It’s Creepy.
One can’t just stand around and try not to make eye contact because. It’s Creepy.

So, Victoria’s Secret, give the men something to do. I have a couple of suggestions.

First, dedicate a corner of the store to be “boyfriend space”. Set up a nice couch. Install a TV, put on a football game. Leave out a bowl of peanuts. You could even create a line of men’s products. You know after-shave or something, and place it strategically nearby.

The boyfriend space could be decorated with posters of models ironically wearing football jerseys or something. Have fun. Go nuts.

In the boyfriend space, the boyfriends or husbands of the girls who have been whisked away to the dressing room followed by black clad, svelte, salesgirls with 17 bras in hand can sit idly on the sofa, watch the game, crack jokes about how shopping sucks, and never once feel like a creepy perv when caught ogling the mannequins.

My other suggestion – Create an extra large intimate two-stage dressing room which allows the girl to step out of the booth and show off whatever it is she’s about to buy.

A good portion of Victoria’s Secret’s inventory is designed to appreciated, and then quickly removed.

If there were a small dressing room, inside a larger private dressing room, the boyfriend or husband could sit on a couch (the couch is very important here) and sip a glass of complimentary Budweiser while the object of their affection stood behind slatted double doors trying on various things. From time to time she could step out, do a little spin, ask what he thinks, and disappear behind the doors again. All in privacy. A good time for all. I guarantee a drunk, aroused husband will be quick to offer to buy something extra “you know, if you really want it baby.”

Victoria’s Secret, you’re welcome. I’m available for further consultation if needed.