I generally find all the “Star Wars” retreads in popular culture to be tedious. Leave that dead horse alone! However, these illustrations of “Star Wars” characters as high school kids in the 80s are adorable.
Comments are mostly rubbish. In rare occasions a website can generate a vibrate commenting community. Most often, though, comments are just a vector for spam or a way for to increase page views for advertising.
Twitter and other media make blog comments obsolete.
We’re trying to eat better. “Better” means more vegetables.
- Using a box grater, shred two apples
- Sauté minced shallot in two tablespoons of olive oil
- Add some salt
- Once shallot is translucent, layer kale on top
- Cook for 2 – 3 minutes, periodically turning the kale with tongs
- Turn heat to low
- Add a cup of vegetable stock
- Cover and let steam for 4 minutes
- Add shredded apples
- Add more vegetable stock if needed
- Cover and steam for 4 more minutes
The scenic Jupiter Hotel
Since I have a web site, and since my web site has a contact form, I occasionally get garbage in my inbox from SEO marketing weasels. These emails are hilarious; each is equally desperate, dishonest, shady, and pathetic.
I’m starting a new hobby. As I get new SEO weasel pitches in my inbox, I’ll post the good ones here followed by a quick review, highlighting the best worst parts. Let’s begin:
Dear business owner of Abouthalf.com
I would like to take a few minutes from your schedule and ask for your attention towards Internet marketing for Abouthalf.com.
As a business Owner you might be interested to gain profit by placing your website among top in search engines. Your website needs immediate improvement for some major issues with your website.
-Low online presence for many competitive keyword phrases
-Unorganized social media accounts
-Not compatible with all mobile devices
-Many bad back links to your website
Looking at the above issues and other additional improvements for your website, I would request you to give us a chance to fix those issues. Our team of Search Engine and Social Media experts are here to serve you with best inputs. If you are interested in learning more about current status of your website, we would be glad to share WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT of Abouthalf.com for FREE.
You will feel the difference once you get services from our company as we never let our clients expectations go down. Being at the top left of Google (#1- #3 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company’s website traffic and online reputation. You will be happy to know that, my team is willing to guarantee you 1st page Google ranking for your targeted local keyword phrases.
If my proposal sound’s interesting for your business goal, feel free to email us, or can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you. I am also available for an online meeting to present you this website audit report.
PSI: I am not spamming. I have studied your website and believe I can help with your business promotion. If you still want us to not contact you, you can ignore this email or ask to remove and I will not contact again.
PS II: I found your site using Google search and after having a look over your website I recommend you to implement future technologies such as HTML5 and Responsive Design to make your site more accessible in mobile phone, tablets, desktop etc.
Ha ha. Let’s review:
I like the strange and inconsistent capitalization through out the email. We have mixed case for “Internet marketing” and “business Owner” and then OMG “WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT” for “FREE”. Somehow they manage to capitalize “Abouthalf.com” throughout. Good job.
“I found your site using Google search…” which is obviously why I need help from an SEO weasel. I can be found on Google.
“I recommend you to implement future technologies such as HTML5 and Responsive Design to make your site more accessible in mobile phone, tablets, desktop etc.”
And by the way…
“PSI: I am not spamming.”
No, of course you’re not.